Ants in my pants….

It is Monday morning, my wife is still sleeping and I can't focus. My mind wanders, I'm siting in front of my Mac computer that is connected to the World Wide Web but there is nothing interesting. I want to eat but I'm not hungry, I want to more coffee but I have the caffeine jitters and the house is in order.

If I had to work today I would be in control of a 30 thousand pound vehicle full of passengers navigating 360 miles of winding two lane mountain passes and city freeway traffic, I couldn't do anything but focus. Days like today with nothing scheduled are the most maddening days. I'm 67 and should look forward to days like today because of a lifetime of hard physical work.

What I look forward to most is a time is another few hours immobilized in my canvas sleep sack. 

There is a simplicity to this, I go in with the help of my wife and I'm there until the scheduled time for release. I may not have creative visions but I might. I may not have celestial journeys but I might. One thing that will happen is that I will not have to try to focus or do a damn thing, I am in the moment totally free.

I wrote this post after much struggle physically, mentally and emotionally.


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