My favorite illustration of trust is the simple act of sitting in a chair. The majority of us plop down in a chair with our full weight with little or no thought. Other than the rare broken chair or middle school prank 99.99% of the time the chair we sit in is trustworthy. The trust you need to put into my swaddling process is no where near the trust we have in chairs. Our trust will build from our first conversation and increase over each progressive session.
I offer a safe place to strip off your protective armor and reveal yourself. I think everyone has a bucket of tears they need to cry, this is a safe non-judgmental place to shed a few. I will only ask you if you want to be alone or hugged. I will have no expectations of interaction I will simply be your "trusted stranger".
Trust is more than physical. What you reveal in a session is much more frightening. This process creates an environment that will help you lay down your armor. By this I mean you may laugh, cry, talk, share fears, joys or worries. I am not equipped or willing to be a counselor, but I am simply another human being who will not judge or remember what you reveal.
I have personally craved a place to feel with no questions, analyzing or pity. I carried and still carry so mush "stuffed" emotion but I never had a safe place to feel them.
We do need more but what I offer is a safe, non-judmental with no meddling open ended questions space.
This is a term I have coined to describe who I will be in your journey. If you are here for the first time you have no idea who I am or what my motives are, but I have no idea about you. We may say plenty of reassuring things to gain someones trust but no one knows for sure without a track record. We can say plenty but what we do reveals us.
You are taking a very large leap of faith to trust me even a little, that cannot be totally avoided. My approach is to go slow, slower than you may like at times to reassure you you are always in control. Each step will be discussed, explained and approved by you there will be no surprises.
I will not push you, pressure you, abandon you, hurt you or disappoint you. I will be there, observing each detail, I will trouble shoot, encourage, comfort, guide, teach, and protect you. Each journey of discovery will build a bond between us establishing a track record.
There is no power dynamic in our relationship I am simply a guide. I will guide you through each session personally. I have personally journeyed for decades to the deeper places this process can go so my knowledge and expertise will help show you the way.
This is not a solo journey you will not be alone. I will give you the space to be as free as you can and not interrupt or distract you but I will always be there keeping you safe.
Is adult swaddling safe?
All of your concerns and physical limitations will be addressed and respected. You are in total control at all times. I am always only a sound, movement or word away.
You will be discretely monitored with limited interaction. You will only do what you are comfortable doing there are no expectations.
This can come in many forms, anger, rage, hurt, frustration, worry, jealousy, sadness, joy, happiness, gratitude or overflowing love. Releasing this in a quiet womb like environment can bring relief simply by flushing them out. The difference with adult swaddling feeling whatever it is in a safe place where nothing is examined or questioned allows us to let it go of so much more.
Swaddling is an age-old practice of wrapping infants in blankets or similar cloths so that movement of the limbs is tightly restricted. This was commonly used until the 17th century and is becoming popular again today. The practice was used for many reasons some longterm use had its downside.
The short term use of swaddling calms an infant and I believe it achieves the same goal in adults. The process, materials, equipment and form may vary but the basics are similar and accomplish the same ends. Restricted movement and compression soothes the soul and calms the most powerful man.
Self control is one definition and physical restriction is another. This is one of the major principles of this therapy. Self control means you are required to expend energy limiting our conduct, speech and actions. Physical restriction transfers this responsibility to the restraint. We have no ability to get into trouble because we can't move. We can't get into trouble saying the wrong thing if we can't speak. We can remain still or struggle while we remain still. We can then focus this extra energy exploring.
"The state if not being imprisoned or restricted".
I believe this is a matter of perspective. We may feel imprisoned by pressures or stress, I feel imprisoned by my ADHD and other focus issues. I personally feel the freedom of restriction is a very profound and very welcomed practice. My passion is to help others understand and experience this freedom.
(Sendep) or perceptual isolation is the deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more of the senses. Simple devices such as blindfolds or hoods and earmuffs can cut off sight and hearing, while more complex devices can also cut off the sense of smell, touch, taste, thermoception (heat-sense), and gravity. Sensory deprivation has been used in various alternative medicines and in psychological experiments.
Short-term sessions of sensory deprivation are described as relaxing and conducive to meditation.
Meditation is a practice where an individual trains the mind to experience a different level of consciousness. It is difficult to shut out out side distraction, adult swaddling combined with sensory deprivation creates an environment to ease in achieving this consciousness.
Out of body experience
Reaching a level of awareness that allows us to have the sense of moving about beyond our bodies. I have experienced this level of meditation many times. I at times can move, other times I could walk around the space and see myself and a few times I could fly. I know many who have similar experiences.
A method of swaddling adults I use. Plastic pallet wrap over clothing or skin covered by duct tape. This can include the head. The subject can lay on the floor or bed or be restrained to a board to compress the body and further restrict movement.
A sack specifically designed to mummify a subject in rubber, leather, canvas and other materials. They restrict the arms with internal sleeves and close with buckles, straps and zippers. This gear is size specific and can easily be used over and over.
I can't quiet my mind or still my body, would someone please help me?
Everyday of my life I am in a constant state of feeling nervous and uneasy. I have lived a normal happy life but under my calm cool exterior I can’t find a comfortable place to be, not physically, emotionally or mentally. I fidget and fumble my foot taps and my leg bounces. My mind flits from one thought to another. I start project after project and struggle to complete any of them. Does this sound familiar?
Critical voices from the present and past tell me to sit still, be quiet, stop fidgeting, stay in my seat, behave, focus, and pay attention. Productivity is a constant struggle I put twice the energy into even the simplest tasks. Then I’m asked that impossible question, why don’t you relax? We give the usual excuses but the answer we want to yell out loud is....... WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME BE STILL!
I could drink a few glasses of beer or wine…. I could break out the bong…. I could go to the gym…. I could meditate…..I could take a long walk…. I could take a nap… I could watch a movie… I could have sex.... but none of these have any lasting effects I just fidget on. I crave a tangible place where I can spend a couple of hours where I am forced to be still and relax. This sounds strange to most people but to me and perhaps you, these words make all of the sense in the world. This cycle goes on in my life day after day and have found complete immobilization in silence and darkness is the one and only thing that gives me any lasting relief.
Alcohol and drugs distort and dull the senses and remove us from reality. This is not the way I want to feel I want to focus on reality and increase my ability to see, feel, smell and hear. The effects I want are found in physical restraining the body and blocking off the senses. In my opinion being controlled by chemicals has an extremely negative downside. I feel they mask the profound focus and calm that sensory deprivation and immobilization creates.
I do not want to be controlled by another person. To achieve this control must be given to another person which requires trust in that persons motives, character and ability. During a session I relate more to the objects that hold me than the person applying them. I struggle against the restraints not person. The majority of the time I just want to be lost in this safe secure silent world. The point of this dynamic is; I want to be free from having to control myself.
Our lives are filled with stress, responsibilities and problems, the nagging negative voices can over power us. There are days we just want to shut it all off and relax. A sleep-sack on our bed waits for me at the end of a stressful day. No scripts or expectations, just that look in my eye and an understanding of the need to be free from everything for a while.
It takes time to understand how this works, being in sensory deprivation and immobilized is extremely powerful. I will not pretend to understand how it does what it does but my 50 years of hands on experience has taught me a great deal. What I have compiled is anecdotal but after thousands of sessions I guess I’m sort of expert. There are studies focused on what sensory deprivation and swaddling does to a person's brain chemistry and body rhythms. What interests me is what it does to me and where it takes me.
I personally begin a session by inserting soft earplugs. Even before I get into my sleep-sack my mind has already begun to sink into what is called subspace. Each layer of restraint takes me deeper and deeper. By the time my head is encased in a hood I am in another world. The final zipper pull, snap and strap pull starts the deep journey. Every sound, smell, and touch is amplified. You are safe is communicated through the practitioners reassuring touch. Words are not needed because an attentive practitioner will sense your condition through practice and experience. Over time and multiple sessions a deep level of trust and connection will be felt and understood by both parties.
Earlier I referenced to the effects drugs vs physical restrain and how they effect the central nervous system. Unlike being under the control of a drug the senses are clear and focused. Yes there are drugs that enhance feelings and senses, but I find the effects of restraint on the central nervous system are more profound and longer lasting than chemically induced perceptions. Due to life issues I’ve been living in substance free reality for more than a couple of decades, I am blown away by the places living in pure reality has allowed me to explore. I begin and end a session clear eyed and awake. After each journey I am truly changed. I have journeyed through my memories, thoughts, fears, and many times I have left my body completely. I’m not big on examining or analyzing every session to understand how or why, I focus on what I’ve learned, understood, or resolved. Drugs leave distortion, damage, and a hangover. I’m not coming from a preachy safety police angle even though that is a factor to consider. I’m saying it gives you a clearer, safer, and more memorable experience.
A session consists of applying gear to a body. A leather sleep-sack and hood make sense because they are physical things that won't let you do anything. Leather, canvas, rubber, cloth, rope, chain, plastic wrap, or tape, they are all just things. A person is physically in them and completely controlled by them. Gear has no mystery, it won’t hurt or harm you, it will actually keep you safe, but most of all it sets you free.
The equipment I use are made from many materials some stir deep moods and emotions. Natural rubber draws out deep emotions that can produce spontaneous laughter or tears. We all use something to change our moods. Sensory deprivation restraint sessions are the one thing that work for me. I could and probably should choose interacting with my fellow human beings more, but that isn’t my first, second, or third choice. Other mood altering substances or activities have their pit falls and limitations. Sensory deprivation sessions are a safe, sane, and commonsense choice.
In conclusion, I do not want to be controlled by another person even though I need help getting in and out of the equipment. In a few words a sensory deprivation session satisfies this one basic need; I want to be free from the responsibility of having to control myself.
I call this article "My Happy Place" because it is my personal escape method. I relate in a very positive way to objects and events, but I'm not as comfortable with people. Many of our readers can relate to this, but like anything taken to extremes can become unbalanced and unhealthy. This is a beautiful place to visit, but a dysfunctional place to live. Moderation, balance, and a relationship with other human beings is something to keep in mind. I write what works in my life and find great satisfaction when I hear from other like-minded people. This helps me feel that I am not alone.
Will I be in control?
You are always in control. Even though the principle of adult swaddling is physical restriction. Immobilizing the subject in full coverage compressive material is why it works. Full restraint is always optional but it not as effective.
Even with full body restraint release is only a word away. You are always in control and will be through the entire session.
Sessions are planned before hand nothing is altered during a session other than small comfort adjustments or immediately ending a session.
Trust is vital to get the best result and builds over time session by session.
I suffer from claustrophobia myself but I find exploring sensory deprivation a challenge well worth the effort. I practice an extreme multi layer immobilization that can last for up to 10 hours. The key is having someone trustworthy to monitor me. That person is my loving wife.
Most people have more tolerance than they thing. There are many benefits to adult swaddling at any level so whatever you want is up to you.
I have helped many to go far beyond anything they ever imagined.
I am not a doctor, counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.....
Adult swaddling is simply a safe and secure place to process feelings. I personally laugh and cry, I don't know why other than I am in a safe place I know I won't be seen or judged for venting an emotion.
Many of my clients feel strong emotions during and after sessions. I check in the day after a session and encourage my clients to seek professional help with any lingering questions they may be facing.
Therapeutic adult swaddling is simply a tool to take a break from the daily pressures if life. There are specific focus issues it may help but it is only a tool not a cure.
Being emotionally naked....
The one question that frightens us all is; “What would you think of me if you could see who I really am?”
We all wear clothes to cover our bodies and protect us from the sun, wind, rain and snow. They are the human version of fur, scales, and feathers. Clothes signal our gender, our status or lack of status, our profession, and our hobbies. Unlike animals humans can choose the clothes they wear. The clothes we choose say much about our motives and moods. We are so focused on clothing that Americans spend $250 billion dollars annually.
Throughout history clothes have served as a covering for our sexual organs. This practice is regulated by cultural, social, and moral standards. These standards have evolved over the centuries and are continually being reshaped and challenged. Wearing clothing for these reasons can be viewed as uptight and prudish. Others see this practice as simple modest privacy. As a healthy adolescent I may not have known that women had faces if their parts weren't covered. One thing we can all agree on, being naked where ever it is in private or more public really feels good.
Even though naked seems easy to accomplish it is only the beginning of what it takes to be truly naked. Removing the protection of clothing exposes us physically and emotionally. We are vulnerable to touch, exposed to the elements, have an increased risk of injury and are exposed to the gaze of others. In this modern culture so focused on body image this can be a good or bad experience.
There is much more to being naked than being undressed. In addition to physical nakedness there is mental and emotional nakedness. We can trust someone and willingly reveal our secrets. These secrets can be embarrassing moments, our weaknesses, fears, phobias, unfaithfulness, short comings, and even crimes. Revealing these secrets is one step closer to nakedness, but one thing that is true about us all, no matter how trustworthy the friend, but there are some secrets we plan to take to our graves.
Being male I have a limited ability to be emotionally vulnerable. This maybe DNA or cultural, I'm leaning toward DNA. I believe the stoic male nature still serves a vital purpose. Even though the modern male is capable of tapping into his emotions, there will still be a layer of armor that cannot be removed. Women seem to do a little better, but shedding this armor is almost impossible for humans to do alone.
This armor is an emotional shell that surounds us and protects us. Negative experiences cause us to draw back into ourselves and grow more cautious. Even if this damage heals it leaves scars that become a part of the armor that separates us from other humans.
True nakedness is going back to the time in our lives before we formed our armor. We can’t actually go back to being a child, but we can experience being naked and safe like a child. This was a time we had no shame or inhibitions. We had no understanding of cool. We feared nothing but loud noises, crying was our language, showing open affection eating and pooping were our major activities. I'm not focusing on the innocence but rather the trust of a child. Unfortunately we cannot completely return to that pure place we all have complicated lives and responsibilities. We lose that open playfulness and begin to care what other people think and what judgments they will make. No matter how much we say we don't, we all do.
Being completely naked particularly emotionally requires being completely honest, a willingness to be truly seen and a trust in those who will see you. The one question that frightens us all is; “What would you think of me if you could see who I really am?” It may not be a conscious question, but trust me it is there in every single one of us. We all fear this and most of us secretly believe that others would reject us if they could actually see us.
Most of us have great exteriors and do quite well projecting a positive image. Along with this need to project a positive image we have an equal desire to be seen and accepted for who we really are. Being willing to show yourself to someone is a precious gift and helping someone strip off their armor is also a precious gift.
How do we strip away this emotional armour?
I use the power and freedom of restricted movement to aid others to strip away this armor. Effective restricted movement and compression will amplify the sense of vulnerablity but over time you realize you are safe in experienced hands. You begin to realize you will not be hurt, forced or taken advantage of, I am in control of your experience keeping you safe, but you are always in total control with only a word you free.
I personally find it difficult to reveal myself to a relative, a person I work with or do business with and even a close friend. That may sound strange, but this is why. Revealing ourselves completely or being completely naked is the point, so I start with “trusted strangers”. A “trusted stranger” is that person you can interact with without risk of consequences. Let's be honest, confession is good for the soul, but only up to a point, I’m not a Priest with the power of absolution. I'm just a guy who won't notice your flaws or make fun of your shortcomings.
I'm a basic no bull shit bottom line guy with an ability to stay a little distant. If I'm going to create a safe place for you my goal is to be that “trusted stranger”. I won't let you get hurt, I won't be distracted, unattentive and I won't get in the way of your journey. I go with my gut in a session. I reassure with a touch of your hand so you know you are not alone, but the most important thing is knowing I don’t judge.
Building deep level of trust does not happen in just one session. It happens over time by building a track record. There is a basic connection I try to build by being close but not too close, I become that trusted stranger. I’m not here to fix you or judge you, I’m simply a tool.
Long term total sensory deprivation is the most powerful tool in my opinion. Being totally alone with your fears and thoughts can be a very scary place. This type of session is a combination of compression that is like a full body hug, the warm womb like feel of leather or rubber, and total darkness and silence. I prefer a full face hugging hood that covers the eyes but that is a personal choice.
I have no secret formula or magic words. I simply create a safe private place where a person can feel safe and completely free. People sing in the shower, make faces in the bathroom mirror, and pick their nose on the freeway. I want my subjects to have the type of place where they are free to be themselves. I understand what they fear the most because it is my own fear. That fear is; What will he think if he sees me emotionally naked?
After however long it takes the walls come down. I do not run or shrink away; I can hold you as you cry as most do. Crying is the most common form of release, but some talk. They tell me things, things they need to tell someone. The only response they require is my reaction or lack of reaction. Some tell me shocking things or shameful things. I don't shrink away, I just listen. They are emotionally naked before me, perhaps for the first time. They await the answer to the question they feared most. I tell them how normal they are and how grateful I am that they honored me with their trust.This powerful connection between two human beings does not happen easily or often.
I value it as a precious gift. Over the years this connection stays in the back ground and perhaps it changes us in our everyday lives. Being seen for who we are and being valued and loved in spite of what we reveal can lead to some powerful insights. I don't need to know any details, I'm just happy to have been that “trusted stranger”. It was what happened in that moment that matters. Being completely naked is something precious grownups have trouble experiencing. Being naked like a child, for even a few moments can be life changing. Both for the one who is seen and for the one who sees.
”Stripping away a lifetime of armor is extremely difficult, I create a safe “Happy Place” you can be free.