If you have read my site you understand this approach to immobilization and meditation is very personal to me. This deep desire to experience these things personally has created decades of loneliness, awkwardness in relationships both social and personal, shame, and embarrassment.
Monday morning around the water cooler when my fellow workers recapped their weekends, I had little to say. They talked about golf, football or baseball games, parties, picnics, skying, fishing or home projects, but all I had was a passion to be restrained for a few hours.
Mostly it was the the unfulfilled desire that week after week became more and more distracting. Even if I shared this desire it was met with that you are a freak look. I became good at small talk about sports, hobbies and home projects. However I never gave any details of my home projects. Soon I was an island in a sea of people with a nagging secret. I shared this desire in a few relationships but it was never really taken seriously I guess they thought it was a phase.
I began working in San Francisco where I found a group I thought I could relate to but even though they overlooked the weirdness the majority didn't really understand. Inside of this group I occasionally found a like minded person just as confused lonely and isolated as I was. I then began to practice a nonsexual form of meditative restraint that was unique to these circles.
Soon their was a group of people I could talk openly about these secret desires. Fortunately I was the one in a position to help many have this amazing experience. For years after hundreds of sessions I realized what a therapeutic experience this was. I found several who had researched the physiology of immobilization, body compression and sensory deprivation. I began focusing on the effects and the type of person who was drawn to this experience.
After my marriage and our move to Hawaii my wife suggested I should pursue the business of providing this experience because I loved it and was very good at it. You can read my website to understand what this business provides. This post is directed to the people in the middle of the loneliness part of my journey. I understand how living with this secret feels. I understand feeling the rejection or dismissal by a partner. What I offer is empathy and understanding to most, but to the few who pursue my services a trip to your very own "Happy Place".
Please feel free to contact me even though you may not be in a position to enlist my services.